Mayor Bloomberg reports for jury duty

Mike,

I hope they offer free wifi in the Manhattan Court System so that you can review my tips for getting out of this mess. I realize that it may be difficult for you to finagle your way out of this all too painful civic duty considering that doing so may negatively effect your presidential aspirations (come on, we all know you wanna stick it to Hillary and McCain, get out there and ruin the election for everyone!). I think it's clear that mocking the justice system would be too dangerous for you so I've put together a few Mike specific ways to duck out.

1. "I'm a Democrat! Just kidding, I'm a Republican!" Clearly your decision making abilities are not up to the high standards of our justice system.
2. Encourage lawyers to hold out for more titillating jury members: "Other high-profile New Yorkers who have been called to serve over the years include Spike Lee, Woody Allen, Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew Broderick, Barbara Walters, Conan O'Brien, news anchor Ann Curry, singer Roseanne Cash, sex therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer."
   
3. Court House not on express train route and does not offer sufficient parking for your huge fleet of SUVs.
   

How We Eat

Lately no one can mention peanut butter around with me without starting a discussion about why peanut butter is so popular in America (and also, how exactly it got to be so awesome.) but is seen as disgusting in many other countries. I start similar debates about pumpkin pie and BBQ and have long kept a mental list of American foods that are rarely recognized as such. As always, Wikipedia does a better job than I(leave it to the masses to make me look bad). And yet my experience has been that when most people think of American food they immediately turn to hamburgers, pizza and French fries. Somehow American food has become synonymous with fast food. I’ve been wondering about how our lack of a well define food culture is likely to effect the everyday American for some time but reading The Omnivore’s Dilemma has turned this occasional pondering into obsession.

It not only seems unfair to exclusively associate American food with Fast Food but also dangerous. Fast Food not only fails to provide nutrition but the way it is typically consumed enforces unhealthy eating habits like eating alone and eating on the run. In The Omnivore’s Dilemma Pollan discusses how food traditions affect healthy eating and hypothesizes that cultures who highly value food and the eating experience often have healthier eating habits regardless of the caloric content of their traditional foods. He addresses the common cliché that the French eat high calorie foods and never get fat by pointing out that the French meal encourages eating small bites over long periods of time and consuming higher calorie foods in tiny quantities and on special occasions – the French do not sit alone in their apartments at 3am gorging on pate, baguettes and red wine (though, obviously that sounds pretty awesome and I think we all know where to find me come Saturday morning…). Having pride in the food you cook, serve and eat leads to better food for all.

In addition to the obvious health implications the very nature of fast food (quick, heavily processed, not prepared at home, designed to be as cheap to produce as possible, designed to be eaten on the go, etc) makes it impossible for a healthy food culture to develop around the only food commonly seen as “American.” Pollan argues that the well established food cultures seen in other countries serve their citizen’s especially well because they have been tested over the course of human history and have benefited from a cultural survival of the fittest. By this standard one would think that Fast Food should quickly be approaching extinction. For good or ill in America our immigrant population has made it difficult to establish a cohesive food culture and our general wealth has made food so widely available that rationing and sacrifice are rarely necessary. The dark side of abundance is that nothing seems special or worth waiting for. With so many ready options it is not surprising that as a society we are often at a loss over just what to eat. I suspect that other cultures rarely suffer from the all to common American confusion around exactly which food is likely to kill us next (“Tonight on Dateline, Is water good for you or is this unassuming beverage really part of a terrorist plot to bring down America?”). Pollan points out that Americans have a very short established history with food and thus rely on science alone to dictate what is good and bad without regard for factors like portion size or meal balance. Combine this with our reactionary media and you have a society so confused that many of us have dropped out of the food discussion entirely choosing instead to eat whatever is cheap, readily available and requires the least amount of work. We eat the lowest common denominator and shouldn’t be surprised that the dollar menu has led to an obesity epidemic.

Many have pointed out that Fast Food isn’t even that tasty – sure, the occasional frosty, fries or chicken nuggets are shockingly decadent and often the best way to cap off a night of drinking but few would rave over the taste sensations available at McDonalds. When I was dieting I used to force myself to consciously think about if the caloric cost of any given food item was suitably offset by the enjoyment I was likely to experience eating it. Too often when faced with the bland, boring, processed foods that seems to have taken over the American table the cost:pleasure ratio came out wanting. I wonder if it would be possible to throw out our broken food model and improve health in the US by consciously developing a true food culture. I’d argue that our lack of established food customs gives Americans a unique opportunity to shape meals that work for our bodies, our taste buds our planet and our pocketbooks. This need not be a culture that outright rejects fatty and sweet foods but instead one that treats these foods as so special that they should only be consumed on an occasional basis. Indeed, the point of establishing this culture would be to elevate the American meal to something worth paying for with time, money and calories. Such a system would discourage overeating by associating high monetary and effort cost with foods of higher caloric value. How often would we eat cookies or pizza if we always had to prepare these foods from scratch? How much more enjoyable would these foods be knowing that someone spent the time and money to make them? Who wouldn’t choose homemade chocolate chip cookies over Chips Ahoy?

The Omnivore's Dilemma

I recently finished The Omnivore’s Dilemma and despite typing the word dilemma at least 100 times over the past month or so I still spell it so incorrectly that I have to retype it about 5 times to get something close enough for spell check to recognize. The book was almost a direct response to my November, Why Organic? post so I assume that Michael Pollan has been psychically stalking me and poaching my thoughts for the benefit of his writing career, I would be angry but it’s not like I have the funding or the patience to write a book myself – someone might as well make use of my brilliant mental insights.

About two weeks into reading the book I had a dream that I was in a grocery store staring at a case of frozen chickens paralyzed over the decision between the standard chicken and the $4/lb more expensive organic free range version. In the dream I was so agitated that I started arguing with other customers and must have lingered in the meat aisle for days on end. Dream Brianna was obsessed with determining if the free range organic super powered chicken led a slightly less tortured life than boring old conventional chicken but, of course, could not determine this based on any of the information being offered by the packaging. This proves that my dream self is much more tortured and annoying than the waking Brianna – all of you should count yourselves lucky. (This also proves that my subconscious is ridiculously lazy when it comes to putting together interesting dream scenarios. Frankly, I think I’m getting screwed. This dream took up valuable time that could have been spent listening to Jack White sing a love song he wrote just for me while Rhett Miller feeds me spoonful after spoonful of premium ice cream. But back to food politics -- talk like that might keep all of my new readers coming back and I’m working pretty hard at scaring them away with a long boring diatribe.) In real life I am not so troubled as to attack other shoppers over the organic vs. local vs. conventional food choices that I make everyday but The Omnivore’s Dilemma has certainly further complicated the already stressful task of feeding myself.

Pollan’s research into the world of industrial organic food confirms many of my fears about the organic food industry. Despite what marketing claims much of the organic food on the market is only marginally “better” than most conventional options. The truth is that very very little of the US food supply begins life in the bucolic farmland featured in the pictures on the back of most food packaging. Sure, no pesticides were used in growing the organic produce but the operation likely required the use of more industrial machinery and it had to be carted to you from half way around the country (or even the world) both of which add up to more gasoline use which means more pollution for the planet in general. Organic standards seem even more irrelevant when applied to meat and dairy now that organic feedlots are a common occurrence. My father read The Omnivore’s Dilemma before me and the chapter on industrial organic led him to concluded that all organic food is a scam, but despite the somewhat dismal picture painted by Pollan I still haven’t completely closed my wallet on organic. If I could reliably find organic semi-local food that wasn’t ridiculously more expensive than the conventional alternative I would buy it. As my all organic all the time friend Sky (yeah, you think I had hippy parents…) said, “Isn’t less pesticide ALWAYS better even if it’s not perfect?” Sure, but that's hardly the only factor to consider. Usually it is all but impossible to know if the food I’m buying is sustainably farmed or humanly ranched. Large organic companies have mastered the game of “find the loophole” and are now often organic in name and legality alone. CSA season started last week so I’ll be happily living the dream of clean food for most of my produce until November (we even get fruit and some meat and eggs this year) but when I placed my Fresh Direct order on Monday the only organic food I bought were apples that the claimed were from a local orchard.

The “best” food conclusion Pollen comes to is that local food from a reputable farmer is probably the healthiest choice for your body, the bodies of farm workers and the planet in general. The chapter about Polyface Farm in Virginia has me all but convinced that I should just move as close to that farm as possible. In an ideal world the answer should probably be growing and hunting as much of your own food as possible. Despite Pollan’s assertion that this is a highly unrealistic goal my parents pretty much live this life. Growing up I had no idea that this was anything other than normal (this statement is a hilarious description of my entire life experience from age 0-18). My parents (yes, Mom too; she’s badass) went deer hunting evey October, in July they often purchased a pig or lamb from the 4-H auction, we ate out of the garden all summer and supped on jars of spaghetti sauce, dilly beans, jam and dried fruits all winter long. We had rabbits that we killed and froze; we went fishing and stocked up on trout. Dinner was eaten at the table as a family almost every night (apparently 47% of Americans claim this as the norm so even though “family dinner” seems to have a pretty loose interpretation in some households this puts my family on the cusp of normal for about the first time ever.). I blame this ridiculous upbringing for my inability to be at peace with food without knowing the intimate details of its origin – Thanks Mom and Dad.

I grew up in a family of hunters but Pollan was the first person to ever inspire in me a small desire to kill and eat an animal. I know that some of my vegetarian readers might now be wondering if I’m famous enough to warrant a PETA assault on my character (sadly, probably not) but I urge everyone to hear me out. I eat meat. I don’t really have problems with eating meat. I do however have a beef with the meat industry in this country (let’s hear it for bad puns!). So hunting offers the cleanest opportunity for procuring meat and I feel a little of that, “if you can eat it you should be able to kill it,” lefty carnivore guilt. The hunting chapter also reminded me of something my father once said during a conversation about a couple of friends who had gone vegan. The desire to completely remove oneself from the food chain seems to imply a want to further distance humans from the wild. Similarly it is somehow considered morally questionable to humanly kill a wild animal that has had a chance to live a healthy life but morally clean to buy packaged hamburger that likely originated at a factory farm where the animal lived and died in dismal conditions. (Though it seems possible that looking down on hunters is as much related to social hierarchy as to society’s feelings on killing animals).

The book also has me curious about mushrooms to the point of obsession. Until today I hadn’t been successful in locating any possibilities for wild mushroom hunting in the New York area and thought I would be reduced to scattering store bought fungi in Astoria Park and playing Easter egg hunt some Sunday afternoon (please join me, crazy is more fun in groups!). But today I found this radio program on the wild foods of Central Park and apparently there are tons of edible mushrooms hiding in the park including oyster mushrooms! I’m now ready to sign up for a park tour with the Wildman. He mentioned that the best tour is in the fall but I can’t wait and think I’ll be at the July 1 Central Park tour. Since I have reason to believe that poor website design is a sign of an awesome food tour to come I’m feeling pretty psyched about these plans.

About a year ago I started feeling better about the US food situation. Organic was picking up, fast food was tanking, and the populous seemed to be hearing the message of Fast Food Nation and Super Size Me and the organic movement. The US food system was in serious trouble and we, as a society, needed to work together to improve things. Today I don’t even know who to root for. I used to occasionally buy organic food under the guise of voting with my dollars, I felt like taking my money away from Con Agra and their ilk would send the message that I want the food system to change. Change is here but The Omnivore’s Dilemma leaves me even more unsure that we’ve improved upon the status quo.

Science vs. Faith

via Wellington Grey
click on image to see complete version

Hillary for President?

With the primaries for the 08 election only a year away suddenly America is all into early preparation – we could use some of that over in homeland security. People all around me seem obsessed with one question – it’s the same question that they’ve been obsessed with since 2000: What do you think about Hillary running for president? Seven years of thinking and I still don’t have a satisfactory answer.

The reason why I can’t decide on my feelings about Hillary are all tied up with the somewhat questionable way that I choose to spend my votes. As a member of the cynical generation I have never been inspired by a politician in a way that made me sure that they could lead me to the America of my dreams. Most election years I grudgingly get inline behind whomever I’ve deemed is most promising despite my (often many) reservations. How I determine “most promising” is complicated. Much of it has to do with party affiliation and how much the candidate playing to the whims of the populace has annoyed me. I don’t believe that I am capable of truly knowing where a candidate stands. Campaigns are serious branding initiatives these days and I never feel like I know a candidate, I can only guess at their true feelings and hope that public claims are at least somewhat true. Because I do not feel like I have reliable information to guide my decision I often tend to get caught up in the symbolism of an election outcome. Hillary’s presidential bid is fraught with the following two pieces of conflicting symbolism:

1. I want to live in a country where gender equality is so advanced that the majority of people will vote for a qualified female presidential candidate.
2. I want to live in a country without a political nobility class, a place where the “American” dream is possible for everyone, a place where anyone (given enough smarts, drive and insanity) can be president.

If Hillary gets elected I get to at least hope that we’ve finally accomplished (1) but I’ll have to give up a little bit more on (2) if our presidential line goes Bush, Clinton, Bush, Clinton. If Hillary loses perhaps I can go back to believing that anyone can be president but it’s four more years where America feels behind on the gender front (behind England, Germany, the Philippines, Iceland, Malta, Nicaragua, Liberia, etc).

I don’t think a woman is certain to do a better job at being president than a man. I think it is unfair to categorize women as competent or not based on gender stereotypes ("Women are more compassionate.", "Women would not be able to declare war.", "Women are too led by their emotions.", "Women care too much about china patterns."). We’ve had 42 men lead our country, certainly there are women who could have done as good a job – certainly there are women in America today who could have kicked George W’s ass at the presidenting! I really want to root for Hillary because as a woman in America, she’s my only option when it comes to hoping that I have the same value in this country as my male counter part.

Just as there must be women out there who are not being allowed to lead out country because of their gender there are certainly people not named Bush or Clinton who would make great presidents. I’m frustrated that as a country we don’t seem capable of thinking outside of first families when it comes to presidential candidates. Just from a probability standpoint it seems unlikely that the best future president just so happens to be related to the guy who ran the country 8 years ago.

Everyone I talk to seem concerned that Hillary isn’t electable. Time Magazine has her ahead of the pack (and I’m sure that the poll taken 22 months before the election is totally reliable.) but that’s not good enough. Democrats (all of whom *REALLY* want to win in 08, myself included) are concerned that most of America hates Hillary. I’ll grant you that a lot of people really seem to hate her, though I don’t understand why (I googled “Why do you hate Hillary Clinton?” and all I got in a fear of her “peeing standing up” and assertions that once elected she would unleashed an undefined liberal hell.) and I’m not at all convinced that she has more enemies than George W Bush had in 04. Anyway, guessing at electability, especially over a year in advance of the election, seems futile.

How do I feel about Hillary running for president? I’m happy that we can finally have a viable female contender. I’m sad that she needs to have a famous name.

No Kids; Plenty of Opinions

I recently found out that most of my friends are freaked out by women breast feeding in public. I expect this from the boys (All of whom I'm sure have already backed out of this post), after spending most of your life sexualizing the breast bringing a baby into frame has to be shocking. The women I’m surprised at. They’ve all had breasts for at least a decade and I have to assume that in addition to objects of sexual desire their breasts have also been an annoyance, a point of pride, an embarrassment and most days a nonentity. Breasts play multiple roles in women’s lives and the role of bottle seems like a natural part of the repertoire. So why do they all seem so uncomfortable?

I understand discomfort and awkwardness. If a hungry screaming child were to rip through my womb and into my arms today I would probably toss a blanket over my boobs before the suckling began. I’m embarrassed by this. I would be covering up out of self consciousness and fear of judgment. In an ideal world I would not be embarrassed by my boobs doing the number 1 job that boobs were born to do (number 2 job: holding up that awesome tube top at my birthday party).

Having a baby is a pain. Babies are demanding and needy and loud. You don’t get to sleep enough or drink booze and I’m guessing it takes at least 2 years to teach them how to make dinner and wash the dishes. Making mom stay home in order to meet all of junior’s dietary needs seems cruel. Sure she can pump and leave a bottle with a babysitter (if you can find one). Sure she could use formula as a back up (if the baby will take it). Sure she could try to keep the baby on a strict schedule and only leave the house when demand for the boob is likely to be low (if she can get your errands done in that 3 hour window). But should she have to? The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that babies be breastfed until at least 6 months of age and ideally throughout the first year of life. 12 months is a long time to stay home with a baby. If women feel too uncomfortable breast feeding in public they’re probably going to stop breast feeding.

People generally seem willing to acknowledge mom’s need to get out of the house sometimes with mini me in tow. Most discussions of public breastfeeding eventually come around to the “Can’t she go into the bathroom?” suggestion. Where is mom supposed to sit in the bathroom? In addition to being pretty disgusting the idea of breast feeding while sitting on a toilet doesn’t sound very comfortable. I don’t see why a mother should have to go to so much trouble just to save everyone else from feeling a little squeamish.

I often feel like our country is obsessed with doing things for the kids. As a snobby singleton myself I’ve rolled my eyes at many a baby in a nice restaurant. I don’t think every place in America needs to be baby friendly. I’d like to avoid making too many allowances for children and parents. Choosing to have a baby does mean choosing to change your life style and parents shouldn’t expect the world to bend to their child’s demands. Screaming babies and unrestrained toddlers can adversely affect the atmosphere in an adult environment but I don’t see how a women breast feeding can be called an evening ruining event. I’d certainly take this image over a hungry baby audio assault.

Maybe I just like boobs (What’s not to like?). I don’t mind changing in front of other people. I don’t get bent out of shape about boyfriends looking at girl-y mags or stripers. I think women should breast feed wherever the hell they like. It’s her breast and her baby. I think the rest of us should all be a little embarrassed by our discomfort.

Why Organic?

I am constantly unable to decide if I should be buying organic food.

I buy organic milk mainly because here in New York it’s hard to find milk from hormone free cows unless you buy organic. I don’t like the cows who are making my milk to be given hormones mostly because I saw the documentary “The Corporation” and they had this awful scene full of cows with udders ripping off because they had been over producing milk after being given growth hormone and it doesn’t seem fair to do that to a cow just so milk can be a few cents cheaper. I also get a little concerned that those hormones could somehow get into my body and cause some sort of problem but I don’t know if this is scientifically possible so it’s probably not fair to base my decision to spend $2 extra on every half gallon of milk on this idea.

This is my main concern about buying organic: I often feel like I’m being asked to pay a lot more for groceries for dubious reasons. It seems highly possible that organic food is healthier or somehow better but I’ve yet to find any conclusive proof of this and I hate to think that I’m being scammed. I also hate to think that I’m being reduced to superstition and paranoia when making my food choices. So much of what I read in favor of buying organic seems to use scare tactics to sell the products and too often the scary bits don’t seem to have any hard facts supporting them.

I do no doubt that agriculture companies are using way way way too many pesticides. This excess bothers me, I’m not categorically against the idea of pesticides – farmers shouldn’t lose their entire crop to bugs (mom, I totally support your never-ending war against the evil squash bug, go ahead and spray them) but I’d like them to use as little chemical assistance as possible just in case it turns out 20 years down the line that the chemicals cause horrible diseases. It certainly seems likely that some remnant of these pesticides could remain on or get into my food and since no one knows for sure if this is happening and what it might be causing I’d like to see a little restraint.

Part of the problem here is that I don’t know which media source to trust. You’d like to think one could trust the FDA – it is their job to regulate the food supply but given the power of lobbies these days all government agencies seem suspect of bowing down to large corporations. I’ve read conflicting reports in most of the mainstream press (the New York Times, Time Magazine, etc). Media directed at the choir (“Organic Style," Organic Consumer) is obviously totally in support of buying organic. Finding a reliable media source on any “controversial” topic is ridiculously difficult these days (I bemoan this fact every time election season rolls around). I google things like “evidence of pesticides in food” and “evidence that pesticide residue causes harm” and nothing seems both conclusive and trustworthy so I close my browser and walk away no more or less sure of what should go into my mouth.

For me, these are two reasons I might buy organic:

1. Organic food is healthier/nonorganic food might kill you
2. Organic food is sold by companies that care about things like the environment and animal rights and workers rights

I’ve spent most of this post unable to come to any conclusion of #1 so let’s discuss #2. I care a lot about #2, probably more than I care about the health issue mostly because I’m pretty damn sure that ConAgra and its ilk are violating #2 on purpose every single day and don’t see any reason to stop. At least when it comes to health I believe that everyone wants to produce healthy food (there’s just genuine disagreement about what healthy is), but it doesn’t seem like most agriculture companies care much about protecting the environment and animals and employees. It is not the job of the organic food movement to police any of these things and I should not count on them to do so. Unfortunately, this does not seem to be anyone’s job. In the past I’ve often figured that since organic companies were smaller and left leaning they would be more likely to care about producing a morally clean product but now that the big food companies have entered the organic market this is no longer a safe bet (if it ever was).

I would like to believe that the food I buy is safe and healthy (ok, except for the Ben and Jerry’s…) and that the people and animals who helped get this food to me were not unnecessarily harmed in the process. This seems like a reasonable request but even as the organic movement gains more traction I do not feel any more confident that the food supply is closer to what I want. Today I read an article on the movement to certify organic fish. The only way to do this is to certify fish farms which are generally bad for the environment and which usually produce inferior tasting fish. Is it progress to formally validate fish farms? The only food I eat these days with total confidence comes from my parent’s garden – they live 3000 miles away so relying on them to feed me is probably not a great plan. I try to do things like join the local CSA hoping that if I meet the farmer he’ll want to do nice things for me like put the least amount of pesticides necessary on my veggies. I also hope that giving my money directly to him allows him to live a comfortable life and pay whatever help he hires a reasonable wage and stay out from under the rule of big unfriendly produce conglomerates. I have no idea if my CSA membership is actually getting me a better product.

I don’t feel like I have the option of an educated choice. Eating should not be this difficult.