Thursday, March 30, 2006

Back To The Future

Been reading this (warning it’s long): Up With Grups

I fear I may be glimpsing my future.

My Worst Nightmare:
I wonder, though, what will happen when Asa becomes a teenager. Will he still want to jam with Dad on matching guitars? Or will he find his own way to grow up? The last time teenagers weren’t expected to rebel, it was because they were heading off to work in the coal mines at age 13. Can we really expect to be cool parents and also raise cool kids? Is this youth big enough for the both of us?
Or perhaps we can look forward—at least if Family Ties can be trusted—to a new generation of buttoned-down, high-strung Alex P. Keaton–type conservative teenagers. This is something the Grups have considered. When I asked Hermelin her worst fear, she laughed and said, “Our kids are going to become Republicans.”

My parents are pretty liberal, they’re not really old hippies but mom did go to Woodstock. As a pre-teen I found this deeply troubling. For one thing drinking was *BAD* and my dad TOTALLY had a beer on occasion. I also think my little left-brained self liked rules enough to be a little upset by my parents not fitting very cleanly into the Ward and June Cleaver molds. I wanted them to be republicans, I wanted them to go to church, I wanted dad to work in an office and wear a suit. I was reverse rebelling – if mom and dad were going to be liberal then dammit I was pro-Reagan! Obviously I no longer want any of that for my parents or myself and since I’m now a lot like my parents I worry about reverse rebellion in the next generation – I grew out of it but what if my kid never does?
A&J and I have this massive “plan” for avoiding republican children. It involves forcing them to stay in scouting through high school, disallowing all TV except star trek and in some cases pretending to be republican ourselves – I can only hope it’s enough.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006


(thanks to alia!)



Email forwards are an odd beast and not to sound too clich├ęd but I get way too many of them – they break down into the following categories:
1. Long survey’s about people’s favorite salad dressings
2. Bad humor about how stupid men are (it’s MENopause folks hahahahah!!!)
3. Religious/political chest thumping

I have to admit that I’m not sure why people I hardly know (friends from 2nd grade, distant acquaintances, etc) think I want to know if they believe in love at first sight or have ever thrown up on a roller coaster but I kind of like the surveys. Trivia is a lot like gossip and I love gossip. The bad humor mostly comes from my mom and her friends all of whom are over 50 and I tend to cut those ladies some slack because I consider it a win that they can even operate a PC. So we’re left with only #3 for me to be particularly bothered by.

My mother’s family (with a few notable expectations) is fairly religious. In the past (long long ago before the Midwest discovered email forwards) I received a letter from my (at the time) 13 year old cousin basically saying “I wish you would love Jesus more so I don’t have to miss you when I’m in heaven.” It turns out the letter was written by the pastor at her church who asked everyone to send it out to people they knew that had “not accepted Jesus as their personal savior.” I’m not sure how such a letter is supposed to convert me. “You’re going to hell and making your family sad!” isn’t an argument for conversion if you don’t believe in the premise of the religion but I have no doubt that conversion was the goal. Unfortunately I think this is a fairly bad approach to bringing more sheep into the flock -- rather than an attempt at conversions this seems to be an argument for faking belief. I could start going to church just so my family feels better about their prospects for friendship in heaven – but that won’t make me Christian. (Incidentally, if people actually want to convert others they would be smart to pick the carrot over the stick -- Guilt tripping me and using a child for the purposes of proselytizing actually makes me *less* likely to join your religion.) Luckily I’m pretty sure my cousin now has lots of devout friends at her Christian high school and will hardly miss my heathen ass come the afterlife.

More recently I’ve been receiving around 2 email forwards a week preaching the religious ideology of the extreme right (mainly about how American schools obviously hate religion since they won’t lead children in Christian prayers -- even Ben Stein says so and he’s A JEW!!!).

I’m not sure what such emails are supposed to do but I suspect that changing my mind is not the goal. I occasionally (very occasionally actually) am forwarded “George W Bush is so stupid!” humor and I giggle and think “yes, I agree! I’m so smart! The person who sent this to me is so smart!” and everyone is happy (expect perhaps the fish forced to live in polluted water and the people being tortured in US military prisons….). I think this feeling of mutual superiority, not conversion, is the intended outcome of a political/religious forward. Which means… my mom’s family thinks the “you’re going to hell!” letter worked and I’m now on board with prayer in schools (this also assumes that *all* Christians are pro public school prayer which is a whole different level of arrogant misinformation…). Huh. That’s annoying. I probably can’t disillusion them without offending, right?

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Do you buy a Tit Sling or do you buy a Brassiere?

This is how I think all conversation on the topic of my boobies between me and Mr. G should go:
B: Hi, let’s get naked.
G: awesome!
B (naked now): look at my amazingly sexy breasts!
G: oh my god I love them!!!

This is the reality:
G: you should buy some super expensive bras.
B: because….?
G: most women are wearing the wrong size! And my friend who works at a bra store says all women need expensive bras! And I read this article in the times!
B: so… what’s wrong with the way my boobs look now?
G: nothing!
B: so… I’m spending this money because….?
G: most women are wearing the wrong size! And my friend who works at a bra store says all women need expensive bras! And I read this article in the times!

Now I acknowledge that when we first started dating none of my bras fit right do to my weight loss, I know this, I went to Nordstrom’s, I got measured I bought some $30 bras, DONE. Right? Unfortunately the multitudes of women wearing the wrong bra size has pushed America into an unjustifiable war in Iraq, gotten Hamas elected into power in Palestine and ruined this years tomatoes crop. Luckily, Oprah and the New York Times and good Samaritans throughout our fair land have kindly stepped up to get American women back on the path to righteousness via $100 brassieres.

Buying bras is no fun -- bra size is a sensitive thing in a society where the breasts size is so often seen as directly proportional to sexiness which leaves many women in a particularly vulnerable position. I find the “all women are wearing the wrong bras” movement irksome because it seems so similar to the “all women are too fat”/”all women need to pay $100 for a hair cut”/”all women need $300 jeans” movements. The idea that women need to spend inordinate amounts of money in order to meets society’s unrealistic beauty goals reeks of The Beauty Myth. I’m happy with the way my boobs look now, why do people keep claiming I need a different bra?

With expensive bras there is an under lying implication that not only will you look prettier but somehow wearing a “better” bra will make you healthier. I suppose this is true in the most extreme cases; if you have really large breasts and you are wearing a very wrong bra it seems believable that you might have more back pain than if you had a bra that fit correctly. But let’s say that my 32C should really be like a 34B what is the difference going to be? I don’t have back pain or painful rubbing or anything with my current bras so I’m not sure what a slight adjustment would help.

Of course maybe I can’t even imagine the changes that will occur in my life once the catalyst of fancy new bra is triggered. I *think* I’m happy with my boobs now but that’s probably because I have never experienced the bright shiny utopia that lies beyond the land of incorrect fit, right? Again… so what? I’m *happy* now – why must society constantly question women’s happiness with their own bodies? Why am I not the best judge of how I look and feel?

I suppose in part I just don’t wanna be a sucker. I picture some Scrooge McBrassier swimming in his pool of money laughing at all the women he’s conned into expensive lingerie and I think, “Not me bitch! I bought my DKNY bras on ebay for $7!” I know there probably is no mastermind consciously out to keep women down by making them spend all of their money on beauty enhancements but women are still asked to spend way more money on their look then men (despite consistently making less) and this can only lead to women never being as financially secure as men who make the same amount of money. I’m not sure the expensive bra fad is a sham – it’s probably more credible than diet pills and padded jeans – but when women are told that need some product to be pretty/happy/good enough I get suspicious.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006


When I went to Greece last summer I managed to take some great pictures -- two of which now decorate my kitchen wall. I want to put some Mexico shots on my living room wall but I can't decide if any of my favorite shots will work as art. thoughts?

  Posted by Picasa

Friday, March 10, 2006


I'm off to Mexico tomorrow morning so no blog entries for a little over a week -- please try to get by without me (except you Geoff, you should spend at least 3 hours a day crying because you miss me so much -- my ego has needs.).

I just did a Google Image Search for "tequila" is hopes of finding a silly mexico inspired picture to put here.. unfortunatly the one I found was much too dirty for my blog... go ahead, do the search yourself and have a look at picture number 13.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Washington DC is paradise to me...

Props to the Magnetic Fields for that Title.

Last weekend Geoff and I took a somewhat impromptu (planned 2 weeks in advance... which for me is the height of spontaneity) weekend trip to our nation's capital. Though the whole city is sullied with the stink of the Bush administration we managed to have a good time.

Our main reason for the trip was debauchery but as convenient cover Geoff's brother had a house warming party at his newly purchased condo so our image remains untarnished. The brother is a fair bit younger than G and I and his party offered me a opportunity to simultaneously feel great that I could still pass as college student ("so... what are you majoring in?") and feel horribly inadequate for being 28 and homeless (my cute apartment notwithstanding). What is with these young whippersnappers buying up homes at age 24?

So Friday was spend on the blow-up mattress on the brother's floor (it's cold comfort that he cannot afford snazzy new furniture for the guest room). Saturday on the other hand:

Geoff was originally drawn to the Rouge Hotel by their promise of free bloody mary's and cold pizza (who can blame him?) but ultimately it offered us so much more:

A sexy place to sleep:

and take silly pictures of ourselves:

I highly recommend the joint.

We didn't just get dressed up to pretend we were models in our hotel room, we also went to another foodie-fest. We did a bit of research on the old internet for hip eateries in DC and ended up at Corduroy. Most of the reviews we read billed the place as highly under rated, never crowded and fairly cheap along with being yummy. All four promises were true! We both had the lobster salad starter (a special version since they were out of the regular dish which i had read great reviews of) it was simple, a light mayonnaise, tomato and red onion -- it's hard to screw up lobster. I had the venison loin for my main course (I must be missing the meals of my childhood when mom and dad would bring venison home from the hunt every year). I know I already said this when reviewing WD-50 but venison loin is surprisingly moist! Even though my mother has a gift for making venison taste amazing I still always think of it as being a bit dry and this loin was anything but. For Dessert we shared the creme brule which I actually thought could have been a bit more vanilla-y but was yummy all the same. All in all a great meal and for much less then we're used to paying in New York.

I have spent a decent amount of time in and around DC and have never thought of it as a very nice or pretty city but this trip changed that. Staying in dupont circle near all of the embassies really made me see why people would want to live there -- though I'm sure I couldn't afford a house in that neighborhood any more than here in NYC.


Years ago my friend S asked me one of the toughest questions of my life:

If you had to get married and your only choices for a husband were Thomas Kinkade and Jackson Pollock who would you choose?

As talented as Pollock was he didn’t seem like healthy relationship material. So I choose Kinkade, reasoning that he may make cheesy bad art but as far as I know he’s not insane and seems fairly unlikely to be verbally or physically abusive.

I was wrong.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006


Because I am a sheep I am moving to blogger.

Also because live journal is kind of ugly.

Also #2 because live journal didn't let me post my pretty profile script from personalDNA (seriously, look how cute it is)