God Bless the Mule

I'm home for the week proceeding the Family Wedding Extravaganza (which will hopefully not serve as a catalyst for the Older Daughter Bloody Rampage Fueled by Lack of Organization Extravaganza) but before the fun of running errands to the florist, setting up chairs and telling mom that seriously those shoes look fine for the 75th time can begin we have to get through Memorial Day weekend in Bishop California, better known as Mule Days. As I have mentioned before, this is cowboy country and Mule Days is ostensibly a cowboy party to celebrate all that the mule has done for us (no, not glue.) but in my experience it's mostly an excuse to buy cowboy themed dishtowels and eat Indian tacos. But this year, in honor of my first Mule Days in 7 years I was determined to attend a show. My first choice was the Tracey Lawrence concert because we all know I'm a slut for the twang but sadly the concert was Thursday night and I wasn't going to hit town until Saturday so the next best option was the coyly named, "Sunday Night Show." And so after 2 margaritas and a plate full of very cheesy Mexican food my brother, future sister, favorite little girl ever and my friend Sky went to The Sunday Night Show. Turns out The Sunday Night Show is like a rodeo on laughing gas and includes all of the following events peppered by a announcer's pleas to "Thank lord Jesus for the fun we've had here tonight!", "Buy this beautiful Dodge pickup truck," and cheers that various cowboy participants disrobe.

Bed Roll Race

In this ode to a less than restful night a mule drags a bedroll across the arena where a cowboy/person of less than complete intelligence launches themselves onto the bedroll as the mule races back to the starting line. He who survives the subsequent roads burn wins!

Musical Tires

Ingredients

• Arena full of Mules
• Guy inexplicably dressed in a mule mascot-like suit which, even more inexplicably, has a mustache.
  
• Pack of people with no shame
  
• Record playing "The Wheels on the Bus"
  
• Guy in mule outfit with cap gun that he periodically shoots off in an obvious attempt at suicide via mule kick to the head.

This is exactly like musical chairs except you know, with tires, and angry mules and a more acute possibility of death.

Guy Riding Huge Horses Roman Style

Since "Riding Huge Horses Roman Style" clearly sounds like a new fangled sexual position I'm sure all of you are happy to see that this is just some crazy dude standing on the backs of two horses as they and their horse team buddies race around the track laughing about how hilarious it would be if this fool fell on his ass. Shockingly his ass remained in air.

The Packer's Scramble

Each of four pack trains are given a collection of items deemed "hard to pack on a mule" (though my suggestion of "another mule?" was not seriously considered so clearly no one was trying too hard) and while the clock ticks are forced to pack up their train of mules and race around the fairgrounds without losing any of the haul.