Friday, May 02, 2008

Random Access Random

I don't really like to get involved with memes for the same reason I don't like to comment back on other blogs to gain internet popularity or publish "what do you think?" posts in an effort to get maximum comments (though, actually I might have one of those brewing.). The problem is that I take myself way to seriously. I have a tendency to fall into that pretentious I am a WRITER trap and we all know that serious writers, the kind that get offered book deal and guest spots on morning TV programs to add some quirky internet presence so that my Grandma and her friends in Wisconsin can shake their heads in a "those crazy kids" sort of way, they do NOT care about comments or subscriber counts and they certainly cannot be expected to respond to gimmicky things like a meme. Of course real writers also have ideas that are publishable not just 15000 Google docs full of unusable notes and a bunch of "I haven't written something worthwhile in MONTHS" guilt. They probably also do not devote entire posts to cooing about how cute their niece is (they also do not have a niece as cute as mine so really this is a moot point). They also probably don't have a friend as nice and devoted and willing to put up with YEARS worth of email describing the minutia of their dating follies using phrases like "doomed for life" and "totally going to die alone" but I do -- and if Mike wants me to mem it up I will. My book deal be damned.

Anyway, the meming goes like this:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
6. Let your tagger know when your entry is up.

Now on to the random Brianna generator.

  1. My youthful vigor and amazingly perky breasts aside there is a proper pants suit wearing 75 year old woman living in my soul (My inner Emily Gilmore). She makes me send out hand written thank you cards (actually that might have been my mom...) and refuses to let me out of the house in brown shoes and black pants and her little alcoholic liver demands to be fed whenever I enter a bar. It is because on her that my drink of choice is a vodka gimlet.
  2. I l have next to no ability to appreciate visual art (go ahead, judge me, I put my thoughts on the internets so I pretty much asked for it). When wandering around a museum (because I have guests visiting and they demand culture or because I'm in a foreign country and god knows I will never hear the end of it if I don''t log a visit to whatever famous museum the country lays claim to) I am usually reduced to glancing at the art and quickly averting my eyes to read every paragraph of the author bio. There is one exception to this rule -- I love color block art, esp uniform blocks/pixels of different colors, double especially if they're organized in some sort of gradient progression from one color to another. Basically the color picker feature in Photoshop speaks to me.
  3. I think I look awful in purple. Or rather I think I should think I look awful in purple based on one statement made by my mother roughly 15 years ago. ("Brianna, Purple is not your color.")
  4. I have small feet and I am inexplicably proud of this as if I had something to do with creating my tiny tootsies and as if having small feet is some sort of valuable trait. Embarrassingly I suspect this is me bowing the the social expectations that women be petite and dainty. For a while the only part of me that I felt fit into this definition was my feet and so to this day when, at the bowling alley picking up my rented shoes my co-bowlers or the shoe rental lady exclaim that I have "such tiny feet!" I glow a little bit inside and then blush a bit on the outside for being so shallow/easily manipulated by the patriarchy.
  5. My first "boyfriend" was a boy named Ben who lived next door to me in 2nd grade. We did a lot of playing together and my friend Jolene was "dating" his twin brother. Once he drew me an adorable picture of us holding hands on the beach which I can to this day picture with amazing clarity(me in blond pigtails and a blue bikini, him in red swim trunks, waves in the back ground and a wooden sign that says "beach" least there be any confusion), the picture probably still lives somewhere in my childhood bedroom. Ben and I had a falling out sometime early in 3rd grade and I went on to become queen of the Geeks and he to actual real life popularity leading my high school friends to speculate that if only I hadn't broken up with Ben 6 years ago perhaps I could have been popular too as if boyfriend alone could have made up for my membership in mathletics.
  6. I failed my driver's test the first time for driving on the wrong side of the road. In my defense this was right after doing a 3 point turn and seriously, anyone could make that mistake. I went home and CRIED for hours (someone doesn't handle failure well...) and then my dad bought me flowers and gave me the patented Horst Klemm "This will not matter when you grow up and realize how awesome you are" speech (that dad dude was smart). I passed on the second try a couple of weeks later and that same day accidentally drove on the wrong side of the road AGAIN. Luckily I didn't kill anyone or get caught. I have managed to over come my obviously British driving roots and mostly stay on the right side of the road these days.

People Whom I Encourage To Be Random

Under Consideration and Montague because they are new blogy friends who you guys should check out
I Don't Think It's Going to Rain because Lisa will write about anything
Kajal's World on a Page because if she posts any more baby stories I'm going to die from the cute
Amy's Magical Place because she needs to write more.
Ultra Fine Flair because Gillian is really good at being random


themikestand said...

Ah, you're a good sport, even if you did make me feel bad for (randomly!) tagging you :)

Anonymous said...

OK, Brianna! I have enjoyed reading your blog and decided you, just quite for sure, should be the esteemed recipient of the coveted, Smokin' Hot Blog award and I am passing the torch on to you. Please stop by my place, er blog to pick it up and thanks for all the belly-laughs.
Keep up the good work!

Elizabeth said...

Oh no! A few days away from the computer and what do I come back to? A meme! I'll have to start thinking...
By the way, I also failed my driver's test the first time. Went through a stop sign in the parking lot of the DMV. Amazing.