Coming This January: Eggnog Thighs

Normally my relationship with coffee is purely social and/or directly related to a desire to avoid the managing of projects. I have even been known to claim to be immune to the caffeine lure that others speak of. But every November my heart, my brain, my tongue, my being craves some coffee -- and not just any coffee. I live very close to an adorable indie coffee shop and the only thing my office neighborhood, DUMBO, has more of than commercial shoots is indie coffee shops. All of these establishments have terrific affordably priced coffee beverages. And yet… the caffeinated beverage that calls my name is the Starbucks eggnog latte. I am so ashamed. I find myself sitting at my desk or walking down the street or lying in bed obsessively thinking about the warm frothy eggnog latte (EL) that seems to be beaconing from the nearest Starbucks. It is very difficult for me to write this post because the EL cravings are only getting worse with every word I type. It is very possible that I will have to pause mid sentence to go on a latte run. I suspect Starbucks puts actual rum in the lattes. Or LSD (mmmm LSD. Mmmm elephants.). That would explain a lot.

Allow me to go on a tangent here in an effort to stave off my EL jones. Here's a conundrum: The last two times I’ve been in Starbucks the person in front of me has ordered a no foam latte. WTF? Clearly this is a sign of the apocalypse on par with the scourge of ice milk. Foam is what separates us from the heathens who drink plain old coffee with milk. Foam is what we pay $4+ for (well, that and sugar syrup flavored to remind us of booze).

But back to the (now banned from my life) evil eggnog lattes (EEL).

In preparation for this post I did the scariest thing EVER. I looked up the calorie content of a tall SKIM eggnog latte on the Starbucks web site. The faint of heart may wish to stop reading right here because OF COURSE the news is not good because good news has never ever come from looking up food calorie counts. Keep in mind that I order the smallest size (12 oz) with SKIM milk. Keep in mind that 12oz of Skim milk has 135 calories.

350 calories!

You know what probably has less calories than that? Actual eggnog made with real eggs. You know what definitely has even fewer calories than that? 3 shots of rum.