A New Kind of Family

A month or so ago New York City was wallpapered in ads for The new ABC Family show, Greek and my readers were almost subjected to an uninformed rant about just how unrealistic I imagined the family channel's take on fraternity life must be. At the urging of a coworker I've since begun watching season one of another ABC Family show, Kyle XY, and now suspect that by extension Greek can only be one big heroin induced orgy.

The first few episodes of Kyle XY teased at a plot line involving the 17 year old daughter, Lori, giving up her virginity to a boy who is not even really her boyfriend. Obviously, I suspected that this was a ruse since there was no way that the former Christian Broadcasting Network was going to sanction a no strings teen sexcapade; but I was WRONG!!!! Lori totally gives it up to Declan in the woods (and uses a CONDOM -- which might be an even greater affront to the Christian right.) while her 15 year old brother gets in on some naked hottub action with a girl he just met. This little jaunt into corrupting the youth of America took place (in my year behind netflix supplied world of Kyle XY) 4 episodes ago and, miraculously, Lori is still alive and not pregnant -- I don't know what Disney (owner of ABC) is trying to teach our kids but I expect to see Mickey Mouse promotional lube on store shelves any day now. Since recovering from the shock of unpunished teenage sex I've noticed that this is not the only way that the Kyle XY writers are trying to mock our freedom -- they also endorse the two Ps: Pot and Porn. Try not to burn your eyes on the following completely true examples of how Disney is further promoting the Devil's agenda:

• When Lori bemoans losing the attention of her sausage supplier to video games her mother comments that Lori is lucky not to be a teen in the 70s when boys would constantly ditch you to smoke the weed.
• 15 year old Josh is realistically portrayed as fantasy BFFs with one of the centerfolds in his very dirty magazine collection (which is much more Penthouse than Playboy if you know what I mean) -- the parents know about and condone the collection even going so far as to giggle when the porn spills out of Josh's hiding place in front of the family and a collection of neighbor kids.
  

As a sex loving liberal freedom hater I applaud ABC Family and their attempts to expedite station founder Pat Robertson's eventual heart attack. I don't know how he's still hanging on -- maybe they should break out the golden showers.