Tuesday, December 06, 2016

Quincy, Month 2

Chunker, Little Happy One, Quincaroo, My Baby,

Your acne has mostly cleared up. Your plugged tear duct must be unplugging because the eye booger situation is much improved. Sadly, your cradle cap is really starting to come in. I think you're adorable. You are a giant baby who is fast growing out of your three month sleepers because you're much too long. The rolls on your arms and legs are deep and plentiful.

You're so happy that you started smiling at 5 weeks and haven't stopped since. You wake up each morning with a grin. You love fart sounds and being on the changing table.

You are easy. Your dad even commented that maybe... just maybe.... Casper was the hard one? After months of worry during my pregnancy that certainly we were due for a challenging baby I'm shocked and relieved to have such a contented little munchkin. At the very least I thought that as a newborn you’d have needs that demand to be filled in short order. Yes, you want to eat when you want to eat, and you need to be changed when poop calls. But you’ll take a pacifier over the boob in a pinch and that poop is only coming on an every other day basis. I hesitate to say this out of fear of sounding like an awful mother but sometimes I forget about you. You’re unformed and quiet and your brother is so loud. You're content to lie in your bed punching at the shadows or to bounce in the monkey seat or lounge on the boppy. You're good. You are my super easy baby.

I feel a little bad that you are not held enough. For you and for me. I fear I should be cherishing what will likely be my last months with a newborn. I nibble your cheeks and smell your sour milk scent in between building giant towers of magnatiles and begging your brother to put his underwear on. I cover your face in kisses and tell you that you're my baby at least once a day. It will not be enough.

I've been going to a mom's group for babies your age (having learned my lesson during Casper's babyhood not to end up alone and isolated all winter). Most of the moms are first timers and my 2 babies make me a parenting guru. I want to tell these ladies that everything they are worried about is going to be ok. They are all so concerned, so frazzled, so strung out. I'm tired (we're finally getting 5 hours stretches of sleep) but I'm not stressed. We're all gonna be fine.

Second babies might be the real joy. I don’t feel the sense of panic over leaving you that made it impossible for me to enjoy even a trip to the grocery store alone when Casper was a baby. I didn't cry during your two month shots. I'm not dreading the return to work in late January. I'll miss lounging on the couch with you but I'll be happy to have Kenesha take over full time diaper duty and spit up catching 3 days a week. This new form of motherhood -- all the snuggling with none of the guilt -- is so refreshing.

Thanks for being my little happy one. You keep up the chill baby vibes and I'll try not to get so laissez faire that I leave you in a bar. Deal?

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