I Suppose Blow Jobs Are a Form of Cleaning

All day at work I listen to Pandora usually on quickmix so that George Strait plays right after the Hold Steady and I can continue to live under the belief that I cannot be pigeon holed with genre even though in reality I am actually very easy to peg as I'll listen to pretty much any song with coy lyrics about love. Especially if the love is doomed. Double especially if the song is kind of silly. This is why I love Liz Phair by Weston and I'm All Yeah and She's all No by The Mr. T Experience and it's why when yesterday Pandora played a song called "The Chelsea Hotel Oral Sex Song" by Jeffrey Lewis I immediately had to own the tune in order to play it over and over again in the annoying teenaged way I'm wont to do. Sadly, I had a lot of difficulty finding a source for the song online (partially because any search for the title gets you about 7000 porn references) I've been trying to buy more music from Amazon.com instead of iTunes because their files are DRM free but alas -- no illicit oral sex was available there, nor on a number of.... shall we say "less expensive" sources so to iTunes I once again turned. And iTunes was happy to sell me the song... except.... they only had a "clean" version. Which was puzzling as this is a song ABOUT BLOW JOBS which contains the awesome line "If I was Leonard Cohen or some other song writing master I'd know to first get the oral sex and write the song after." How do you clean that up? (If I was Leonard Cohen or some other song writing master I'd know to first get the intimate kissing and write the song after." ? ). With no other song sources presenting themselves and me becoming impatient for new tunes at 10::00pm and my curiosity peeked I went in for the $.99 clean experiment. Turns out "clean" means "totally still exactly the same as the dirty version." I can only hope evangelical parents everywhere are outraged.

My friend Bob this morning found the following awesomeness for me and even though the video quality is less than great I still think I've found a new boyfriend.