Last Meal

I saw this post yesterday and was, of course, shocked that no one had contacted me. Am I not a foodie? Am I not in danger of being taken out and shot by multiple parties (Sandra Lee?, at least 2 lawyers?, a former Animal, a couple of Magni and 2 Swedish songstresses?)? Am I not VERY FAMOUS?!?!?!

Screw you Chew on This jerks! (just kidding, you seem very nice...)

I refuse to be censored by the man so in defiance I now present THE BEST LAST MEAL EVER (because eating all of it will cause a heart attack on the spot thus thwarting my enemy's plans to assassinate me.)

Appetizer: Lobster salad like I once had at Corduroy in DC. It's really just chunks of lobster with some cucumber and tomato but what else do you need?
Salad: Purple Cherokee heirloom tomato salad with fresh basil, syrupy aged balsamic and good olive oil
Soup: Mom's creamy potato leek with lots of pepper
Main: Ossobuco served over saffron risotto (exactly as described on wikipedia) and an artichoke with lots of melted herb butter for dipping.
Cheese: Very stinky aged blue cheese with the truffle honey that they serve at Otto served with a really crisp and tart granny smith apple and a sour dough baguette
Dessert: brownie sundae (the brownie has to be have a really crinkly top) with a chocolate peanut butter ice cream, a mint chip ice cream and a banana ice cream with a caramel swirl, hot fudge, piles of homemade whipped cream toasted pecans, homemade boozey maraschino cherry.

While I'm tempted to choose a separate alcoholic beverage for each course (perhaps Sandra Lee has inspired me after all) I'll settle for having everything served with champagne.

This exercise was ridiculously painful not only because there are just too many food stuffs out there to love (I think it's clear that before partaking in the last meal described above I will need to either schedule a few strategically placed bulimia breaks or magically turn into a ruminant (the roomy extra stomach almost makes up for the cud chewing!)) but also because I got obsessed with making a meal that worked together. I really wanted to include hand made corn tortillas and my uncle's shakshuka and while tortillas could be paired with margaritas (rocks, lots of salt) and the shakshuka could have been followed up with my aunt's chicken couscous neither option would go well with the blue cheese and truffle honey which I wasn't willing to compromise on. I should have specified in my execution contract that I need at least a week of extravagant last meals. There was also the issue of time of year -- if I'm being offed in August I might actually go for the Mexican meal or course after course of spicy cold thai dishes washed down with coconut juice but for a January death I need to pack on some home made mac and cheese and grandma's chicken soup with egg noodles.

Don't even get me started on what I'll be wearing....