Home -- If They'll Have You

Since the democrats did so well in Tuesday’s election I need not flee for the great white north just yet however – I TOTALLY COULD. I just took the Canadian citizen test online and rocked it (80%) – conversely I forced my Australian friend Courtney to take the US Citizen test and she scored a pathetic 50%. Foreigner are stupid.

Some highlights from each test:

O Canada

List three ways in which you can protect the environment.
a. Work near where you live, drive to work, take a taxi.
b. Use unleaded gas, drive a small car, travel by yourself.
c. Compost and recycle, conserve energy and water, walk or join a car pool.
d. Pour solvents down storm drains, leave taps running, leave lights on.

My god you people are a bunch of tree hugging freaks (good thing I rather like tree hugging freaks).

American the Beautiful

Who helped the Pilgrims in America?

Christopher Columbus

The American Indians

Southern plantation owners

Courtney thought the answer was Columbus. I don’t think she knows what pilgrims are and I just asked her if she knew who Columbus was, “I dunno, he sailed around and stuff.” (To her credit when given a few minutes to contemplate she did eventually figure out that he discovered America).

We spent a lot of time looking for the Australian citizenship quiz but it turns out they don’t have one so we had to settle for this history quiz which I rocked with 10/14 and Courtney totally bombed with 7/14. They’re now considering kicking her out of her home country. She thinks England has no standards whatsoever so she can just stay there.

I wanted to put one of the questions from the AU history quiz here but none of them are funny – they all make the Australians sound like racist pricks. We found this easier (and less dickish!) quiz which offers the following bit of knowledge.

Advance Australia Fair

What does the Australian slang word 'chook' refer to?

A lizard
A chicken
A girl
A car

If this question were asked about America I assure you the answer would be dirty.