Friday, November 03, 2006

Good Morning! Cute Shoes!

7:00am: alarm goes off, “Bush sucks. Iraq is falling apart. Don’t you love this silly indie band? isn’t this worth $120.00/year? SEND US SOME MONEY BITCHES! You’re listening to WNYC.” Good morning to you too, NPR.

7:08: Obsessively check email (you never know when you’ll have blog comments roll in overnight)

7:10: click on “sale”

Yes this is every morning. They seriously change the sale every damn night. I am obsessed with the J Crew online sale. So much so that this conversation once took place in a J Crew store:

Random girl: (holding skirt and walking up to salesgirl): How much is this? It was on the sale table but it doesn’t have a tag.

Brianna: (to Geoff): It’s $39.99 it’s been on sale for months, why don’t they just drop it to $20 so I can buy it?

Salesgirl: $39.99

Geoff: that was scary.

Brianna: yeah, well…

J Crew seems to have some serious issues understanding how sales are supposed to work. If an item did not sell at your ridiculously high full price (seriously a cotton skirt for $80? Someone has a bit of an inflated ego about the worth of their products) and has lingered at around at 20% off for months it’s time to slash the price and get rid of your overstock. As far as I’m concerned it’s not a sale until it’s at least 50% off.

The J Crew sale web site is woefully crappy. The “back” functionality doesn’t work in Firefox (“gee, thanks for taking me back to the top of the page, let me scroll for 15 minutes to get back to where I was”) – I realize that most J Crew shoppers are probably using IE but I can only assume they are losing TONS of geek dollars due to this bug. This, however, is not the most annoying thing about the site. On the wonderful mornings when I wake up to find that J Crew has chosen to mark t-shirts down to $5 and their favorite fit chinos to $19.99 I get all excited and start adding to my shopping bag. Unfortunately, there is about a 50% chance that these items will be in my shopping bag when I’m ready to hand over my credit card. This is because J Crew lets anyone add an item to their shopping bag and only removes the item from stock once it’s purchased so you have to shop as quickly as possible least someone steal that cute $25 skirt from you. Perhaps they are trying to realistically recreate the fighting over items that occurs in store sales (because that’s what we all love most about shopping). Don’t worry too much though, the skirt that is suddenly sold out today will probably show up again tomorrow. Clearly their stock database works super well.

I like to think that I am not as preppy as this post is making me sound. (I am fully willing to admit that I’m as OCD as this post makes me sound, I own that personality flaw). I also like to think that I am not so boring that by day three of this challenge I’m already subjecting you to boring musings on an online sale. Reality is a bitch.


themikestand said...

I swear to god, until I read this post I thought I understood the basic ins and outs of shopping.

No longer can I say this.

(And that exchange between you and G? Golden.)

Anonymous said...

i am consistantly highly amused by your blog.

you're as funny as the scary stand up girl, but way less scary...


Anonymous said...

The Final Sale will eat you and break down your proteins into an easily digestible fine herringbone.