Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Thank you USPS!

Gillian has already posted about her love for the US Postal Service and I have to belatedly back her up. I'm constantly amazed that the mail works at all and impressed at just how well it works. I stumbled upon this site a few years ago and have been amused and in awe ever since (the temptation for enacting my own experiments in postal tomfoolery is also increasingly hard to repress as I give this page a new read). My favorite highlights:
Rose. Postage and address were attached to a card that was tied to the stem. Delivery at doorstep, 3 days, beat up but the rose bud was still attached.

Molar tooth. Mailed in clear plastic box. Made a nice rattling sound. Repackaged in padded mailer by unknown individual; the postage and address had been transferred to the outside of the new packaging. A handwritten note in a woman's writing inside read, "Please be advised that human remains may not be transported through the mail, but we assumed this to be of sentimental value, and made an exception in your case." Days to delivery, 14.

Coconut. Fresh green coconut containing juice, mailed in Hawaii. Delivery at doorstep, 10 days.

It was a good day for mail at Random Access Babble HQ.

Firstly, a miracle occurred. Last night at 10:01pm EST I ordered these shoes from as a replacement for my Draven slip-ons which, despite an over abundance of cute did not hold up to the NYC lifestyle in the sole department. Anyway, Zappos offered me free 2 days shipping because they are awesome so I figured I'd have my shoes in time for the lazing around that I have penciled into my Sunday schedule. Today when I arrived home at 7:00pm a Zappos box was resting against my front door. I was sure that someone must have sent me a belated birthday gift of shoes (which would obviously be well received and result in a big sloppy thank you kiss) because it would be impossible for my order to be processed and my shoes shipped out and delivered in less than 24 hours. But I look down at my feet now and I see cute little hearts and so must start believing in miracles (or at least some sort of shoe Santa).

Update: Received an email from Zappos at 2:31am confirming that they had shipped my order... curiouser and curiouser....

My second pieces of mail was also something I was anticipating. Last night on the phone my dad said that he had sent me "an envelope" when I inquired about the contents he would only say that it was "something he found in an old house [he's] working on" (Dad owns a small construction company). I was excited enough about this surprise that the envelope was actually opened before the Zappos box (meaning Dad won out over shoes -- this must be one of his proudest moments). Inside was a small wooden ladybug magnet (no note, how very dad-like).

Long ago I went through that adolescent girl phase of defining ones self through collecting thematic junk. My theme of choice was ladybugs (it sounds ridiculously cliche until you consider that the other options were dolphins and unicorns). This relatively short lived phase was followed by at least 2 years of Christmas eye rolling and me begging my mother to quit with the ladybugs already. The message finally sunk in and today I rarely receive ladybug themed gifts but occasionally mom and dad revert and a ladybug token or card arrives on my doorstep and I can't say I mind anymore. The closer I get to full fledged adulthood (perhaps, some would argue that 29 is clearly 100% adult but I'm clinging to denial) the happier I am to be reminded that I am still someone's little girl. I cannot thank the USPS enough for bringing me this little souvenir to remind me that a few days ago 3000 miles away my Dad mentally sent a little unconditional love my way.


themikestand said...

What? You mean you weren't one of those girls who is totally obsessed with horses?

For that reason alone I'm glad I had boys.

Brianna said...

We had horses -- girls are never obsessed with the thing their mom tries to force on them.

boys have obsessions too -- I know a certain two year old who would always choose Bugs Bunny or Thomas over hanging out with pretty much any human.

alia said...

i was unicorns *before* they were cool.

(my mom had a hippie friend who was an elf before elves were cool. it's his fault. about a year later *all* the 8 year old girls were wearing unicorns and rainbows, and i gave them up. i forget what i substituted them for... though before unicorns i had a brief flirtation with penguins. i was a very sophisticated 6 year old...)

alia said...

and as mother of the two year old previously mentioned... um, yeah. i have to say that occasionally i think he would choose thomas over me. but it depends on the circumstances: if i was holding a piece of toast with nutella on it, i *think* i would edge out thomas.

if thomas had nutella, he'd let me get hauled off by the men in black no problemo.

amy said...

Coolest. shoes. ever.

I love them!

...but doesn't zappos use UPS?

Brianna said...

good point Amy.. yes, Zappos is UPS but I love all mail delivery systems equally.

joe said...

I personally hate USPS, they always screw up delivering stuff to us and then Amy has to go to the PO and pick it up... though it gives me another reason to like amy...

With that said, I used to send strange stuff in the mail all the time in HS and college... my favorite was buying old records and sending them to people with a letter inside and their address on the front. Most of the time the record would arrive unscathed. But usually it wouldn't matter because it would be Buck Owens and the Buckaroos or something...