Saturday, January 20, 2007

I am not a Zombie Beast

Or maybe I am. My new eye doctor can’t say for sure whether or not I sleep with my eyes open but even if I do this is not the cause of the horrible eye stinging which has gotten progressively worse and has made friends with extreme light sensitivity, blurry vision and an appearance that screams “I was up all night doing shots of Everclear with the guys from Poison.” (would that I were that cool.) My new eye doctor seems like a nice guy, he gave me lots of information and was sad to hear that old crappy eye doctor misdiagnosed me so badly – he really did not deserve to have his office infected with my toxic eye virus.

Turns out I have Epidemic Keratoconjunctivitis (EKC for short) in both eyes. Since at least one of the readers of this blog suffered through 6 months of cancer treatments I can't complain too much about my pathetic little eye disease (Dear Amy, thanks for ruining sympathy for EVERYONE.). That said it seriously sucks. The highlights:

  • No real treatment options
  • Could take a few weeks or AS LONG AS A YEAR to clear up

It’s also extremely contagious, though mostly in the first few weeks and I’ve had the virus for about 2 months. Thus far all of my friends seem eye death free -- clearly I have good taste in terms of immune system strength (one of the most important traits in any friend). As far as I know I’ve never had any illness that would be characterized as an epidemic and I must say that the diagnosis makes me a little excited. Because of me all of the nurses had to don rubber gloves and begin scrubbing down the entire doctor’s office with bleach. Because of me no one can linger in the waiting room perusing the January 1 2007 issue of Newsweek (I was asked to put it into the hazardous waste bin). I felt bad for the extra work and the lost opportunities to read about the death Gerald Ford but I also felt a bit like a super villain. I am obviously easily corrupted by even tiny amounts of power.

Looking on the brightside in addition to a my new identity ("RedEye" -- super outfit-wise I’m thinking of some cute red and white striped tights, a red leather bustier and a shiny white cape) though I can’t wear my contacts I did just purchase some very cute new glasses.


alia said...

hmmm... should i have read this *before* i let you play for hours with my son?


he's fine at the moment: he's wearing the train shirt you made him, watching The Best of Percy DVD (it's about a train), while making train sound effects.

life appears to be normal here.

Anonymous said...

Hi! I was just looking up EKC online & stumbled across your blog - because I was just diagnosed with it today! Ah joy. I can't say the staff at my eye doctor's reacted in as much frenzy as yours did - now it does make me worry that I need to call them & tell them about the magazine I was looking at. I can only hope my new glasses will be cute as I couldn't see to tell when trying on frames.

My other doctor misdiagnosed me as well, apparently it's not an easy thing to diagnose & my roommate wasn't too happy to hear I'd had this for a while.

I am glad to hear my doctor told me pretty much the same thing yours did - it's reassuring.

Good luck with your infection. I hope it clears up quickly for you.

Brianna said...

so sorry to here that another person has been afflicted with this wretched plague.

good news: i haven't given it to anyone (that I know of) and most of the hurting is gone (the blurry vision remains :P).