Friday, May 30, 2008

Mawwage is what bwings us togevah today

Below is my toast for the wedding tomorrow afternoon -- I could use some last minute feedback in the comments!


As many of you already know I can be a bit of a cynic which can make things a bit challenging when wedding season rolls around but I'm feeling pretty confident about the union of Kurt and Stacie. By the way, are we going with Kurcie or Sturt? The tabloids are going to need something to call you in duo form -- and by tabloids I mean my blog. Kurt and Stacies’s relationship has already suffered through a challenge that should have destroyed it. No, I'm not speaking of a secret illness that none of you were told about. Or the rigors of parenthood. I speak of the day last year when Stacie CRASHED KURT'S TRUCK. For those of you that haven't known Kurt for more than a couple of years let me assure you that preStacie he only had room in his heart for one lady and her name was Ford F250 (though personally I suspect he has many pet names for her on the side). Not only did he refuse to let anyone else drive Truck-y-kins but he made her all but inaccessible by lifting her roughly 75 feet in the air and removing the running boards. When I heard that Stacie had backed his baby into a pole I was sure that this would be the end of things -- certainly Kurt would break up with her after he murdered her. Shockingly Stacie not only lived but a big dent in his bumper somehow inspired matrimony. And so, even this cynic has to admit that what we have here is true love and if I’m going to admit it I might as well go all the way to toasting it. To Kurt, to Stacie, to Kurcie, to True Love.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is great, but you have to recite it in the same voice as the preacher from Princess Bride (like your title.) Then it'll be awesome.

StoopidNoodle said...

It is nice, but take out the first part about you. It should be about them and even if the first part makes you think it is less schmaltzy, it's a toast it ought to be full of sentimentalities - like a schmaltz-o-meal

Anonymous said...

So cute. Now I want to get married again so you can toast at mine.

I think you can keep in the part about you but just move it to some point later. Or leave it.

Try not to cry.

Unknown said...

I agree with Stoopidnoodle you should start with "I'm feeling very confident about the union of Kurt and Stacie (aka Kurcie for tabloid lingo). Why you ask? You see Kurt & Stacies's relationship..." Also drop the "after he murdered her" one does not say murder at a wedding.

Have fun
Kelly

Elizabeth said...

I really like it. But I agree with Kelly about "murder."

Gillian said...

I'm probably too late but just in case, +1 on leaving out the part about you (and the blog - it isn't really about that). And yeah, the murder thing too - funny in this context but maybe a bit graphic at a wedding!

Anonymous said...

Love it! Even the bit about you!!
Dont forget, any self indulgence can be blamed on booze. =D