Showing posts with label Kurt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kurt. Show all posts

Friday, May 30, 2008

Mawwage is what bwings us togevah today

Below is my toast for the wedding tomorrow afternoon -- I could use some last minute feedback in the comments!


As many of you already know I can be a bit of a cynic which can make things a bit challenging when wedding season rolls around but I'm feeling pretty confident about the union of Kurt and Stacie. By the way, are we going with Kurcie or Sturt? The tabloids are going to need something to call you in duo form -- and by tabloids I mean my blog. Kurt and Stacies’s relationship has already suffered through a challenge that should have destroyed it. No, I'm not speaking of a secret illness that none of you were told about. Or the rigors of parenthood. I speak of the day last year when Stacie CRASHED KURT'S TRUCK. For those of you that haven't known Kurt for more than a couple of years let me assure you that preStacie he only had room in his heart for one lady and her name was Ford F250 (though personally I suspect he has many pet names for her on the side). Not only did he refuse to let anyone else drive Truck-y-kins but he made her all but inaccessible by lifting her roughly 75 feet in the air and removing the running boards. When I heard that Stacie had backed his baby into a pole I was sure that this would be the end of things -- certainly Kurt would break up with her after he murdered her. Shockingly Stacie not only lived but a big dent in his bumper somehow inspired matrimony. And so, even this cynic has to admit that what we have here is true love and if I’m going to admit it I might as well go all the way to toasting it. To Kurt, to Stacie, to Kurcie, to True Love.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Auntie-Hood

Since I have yet to be invited on any cake testing adventures the sweetest byproduct of my brother’s engagement so far is his fiancĂ©’s adorable two year old, Delanie. I hate to get all sappy on this blog but there’s really no avoiding it considering the level of cute we’re dealing with. Cuddly-wuddly baby bunnies are jealous. There is talk of her own anime series. I have always loved kids. I googoo at babies in the super market and shamelessly spoil my friends children. I had thought my capacity for baby love had been maxed out but there is nothing like having a niece.

I wasn’t fully prepared to hear a two year old call my brother daddy. I could deal with watching him buying cases of diapers at Costco or having to go home around 8pm to tuck the little one in. I’m super proud of all of his fatherly actions (and, honestly touched to the point of teary but don’t tell anyone, I like to keep my tough girl image) but hearing the D word just about killed me. The problem with jumping into daddyhood with a two year old is that you don’t give people any adjustment time. With a newborn you have at least 6 month of adjustment before adulthood is cemented with the first cry of, “da-da,” but I had to go straight from “Kurt you can’t hold kittens by their head.” To “Kurt, your daughter is pooping, do something about that.” It’s a tough transition, especially when you can almost remember when daddy was in diapers. My week long visit was hardly sufficient time to mentally tag my brother as a Daddy (under D, right after Annoying before Doodyhead – I really need to update that list more often) but it only took an hour to stamp a big A is for Auntie on my own breast. Being an Aunt is almost as awesome as being a Grandparent and mom and I made a top notch baby sitting team (“Delianie, want some chocolate? I have a HUGE bar right here, gimmie a kiss and I’ll share!”).

As a kid I remember being annoyed with adults who cooed at me about how fast I was growing up – couldn’t they see that the journey from car seat to driver’s seat was taking FOREVER? Recently I turned into my enemy. On my visit home last week I had a chance to chat with Mom and Dad’s neighbor’s kids – you know, the ones I used to change diapers for; I was barely able to resist the pinching of cheeks. The oldest is a high school sophomore and was busy with football practice when he wasn’t busy shocking me with his baritone voice. The youngest and only girl is embarking on the adventure of seventh grade (I was barely able to resist telling her that life would get much much better if she could just stick out the next few years in hell). Needless to say, the growing up? Happening at an alarmingly quick pace. This seemly sudden transformation from child to man-child has me worried. Not just because I am reminded that my own transformation from hot young thing to crinkled old hag is in the works but because my new little niece is also on the fast track to adulthood. More than once last week I found myself in a bit of a panic about not seeing her again until Christmas when she will no longer be just two but will have catapulted into 2 and a quarter! Think of the words I’ll miss out on! Think of the climbing of water spouts by itsy bitsy spiders that I won’t get to sing about! (I know, I know… Think of the tantrums I won’t hear! Think of the diapers I won’t get to change!) When my mom brought up the open Sys Admin position at the hospital in town for the 500th time I almost jumped on it despite the job being located in the middle of nowhere and me having no actual job qualifications save, “Hey! Brianna does things with computers!” I hate to think about Miss Delanie growing up without me. I wonder if it’s possible to really know someone from 3000 miles away when you’re growing so fast and I defiantly want to know Delanie.

Monday, July 16, 2007

It is Getting Harder and Harder to Pretend I am Not Grown Up

My 26 year old brother is getting married. This is a kid who less than a year ago gleefully told me about running a motorcycle into a tent housing people whose early bedtime did not live up to his partying standards. This boy used to engage me in “reasons to get married” conversations which resulted in lists like:

  1. Well, what if you really needed nice silverware? Like what if you had a job where you had to host lots of dinner parties?
  2. Ok, let’s say you’re super religious and very eager to have some sex?
  3. Perhaps you have crappy friends who won’t show up to a party without pretense?

Last Thursday when Kurt told me about the engagement I was on my way home from wine club where I had luckily partaken in just enough of the devil’s juice to keep my head from exploding (Rose wine, haven’t you heard? The devil is going subtle these days). In true low key baby brother fashion (tendency to crash motorcycles into tents aside) he just slipped this nugget into our boring conversation about each other’s weekend plans, “So you should look for a plane ticket so you can be home on April 19th.” Which allowed me to ask “why?” and buy a moment to catch my breath and resist blurting out “OH MY GOD ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?!?! ARE YOU EVEN OLD ENOUGH? IS THIS LEGAL????”

I’ve managed to chill out over the weekend and I think I might be able to get through to April without having a break down about being old and single. Congratulation Kurt, I know you never read my blog but if you did you would be super happy that I did not use this opportunity to tell embarrassing stories about your childhood. I’m saving those for my drunken toast.