Last week I received an email from my peeps over at Crazy Blind Date asking if I’d be willing to submit to a Daily News interview about their services. I considered asking if I was going to be put on their payroll since I am apparently a key member of their marketing department but refrained because being interviewed by a real life paper (even one that I often snear/snicker at on the subway) sounded like good times. So I called the writer who was so fun to chat with that there is pretty much no chance that I didn’t say something that will result in my family disowning me. When she offered to plug my blog in the piece I briefly considered asking her if she was interested in some hot lesbian loving but I somehow managed to restrain myself. God forbid I ever do anything interesting enough to warrant true news coverage of my life because all it will take is one “You look so cute!” from Oprah and I’ll be slutting myself out for an all night Oprah/Brianna/Gail sandwich making party.
Anyway. The article was supposed to appear in today’s Daily News in their weekly “Hers-day” feature (I would like to comment on that ridiculous name but embedding an animated gif of rolling eyes on my blog seems like cheating especially since that gif could adequately stand in for every single sentence I’ve ever written). You may have noticed that there was no such article in today’s paper (one assumes that, like me, you scoured the entire fucking web site and wasted fifty whole cents only to spend your subway ride begrudgingly reading about the superbowl). Because I am very well connected with the movers and shakers in the news world I emailed this one guy who I sort of know who works at the Daily News (in sports, but whatever).
So last week I was interviewed for this Daily News piece on crazy blind date and the writer implied that she might be able to sneak in a link to my blog so I’m pretty psyched (how far away can a million dollar book deal be really?). She said the piece would appear in today's "Hersday" section but clearly THIS WAS A LIE. Obviously I expect you to research this for me because, really, what could you be doing that's more important than this? NOTHING.
I have yet to hear back from him so clearly someone needs to reprioritize whatever the crap he is doing today.
I’m going to assume that the piece will eventually be published because I give great interview – they’re probably just saving it for some awful Valentines Day themed issue as the article meant to promise hope to the pathetically single among us (likely it will appear right between “Chocolate Tastes Great!” and “Maybe You Just Suck”). In the meantime single men in
In conclusion: I’m free on Tuesday and I like fancy cocktails.