Thursday, July 17, 2008

On the Installation of Automatic Toilet Paper Dispensers

They just installed automatic toilet paper dispensers in the work bathroom (I can only assume they are somehow wired through the deck). My first thoughts was "Really? Who is this lazy?" but then I realized that this probably has more to do with woman being crazy germaphobes in the bathroom.

Other thoughts:
  1. How did they determine the amount of toilet paper to to dispense? Was a study on average butt wiping needs done? The amount delivered seems more than substantial to me and I can hardly imagine going in for seconds. If this is average I feel that one of the main causes of global warming is over wiping. Perhaps this is commentary on the size of my ass (small).
  2. When I stood up my butt caused the dispenser to redeploy. Perhaps this is commentary on the size of my ass (big).


amy said...

Good job on the short posts ;)

I also like the label of "ass"

Yemil said...

I can't deny, I opened this up in my reader and at the end just had to bust out laughing. Too funny.

themikestand said...

3. Are they tracking TP use among staff? Will they then correlate my visits to the restroom with TP usage and begin to bill me for any overages?

4. What's next? Will one of those little hand-dryer things come out of the toilet and offer me the choice of paper or blow-dry? said...

I just wanna know who monitors the use of these devices? Surely there is a way to re-activate it in case of... dare I say it, diarrhea? At this point, does a T.P. cop show up and suspend your T.P. privileges? Sooo many questions....can of worms....

Max said...

I have to comment on this, because that dispenser has been bothering me for weeks!

One of my special skills in life is that I can wipe my own ass. It's on my resume; it's something I can take care of. And now I can can't even get the benefit of the doubt on that: I'm provided with automated assistance as if I can't handle it on my own.

I understand the paper towel dispensers - as annoying as they are at least that prevents me from having to touch the handle bar that everyone touched on their way in and out of the bathroom. But this machine doesn't prevent me from having to touch anything!

TFGamer said...

You know that they are just trying to penny pinch! Gotta save money now that flying those executives around costs so much more thanks to gas prices.

Thats right, everyone will only get two sheet for #1 and three sheet for #2.

Or maybe they are encouraging a new bring your own toilet paper to work day.