Friday, February 29, 2008

The Britney Comeback -- A Risk Analysis



Risk StatementImpact (1-5)Probability (1-5)Exposure: ImpactxProbabilityMitigation Action
Popstar not capable of getting through interview without using the "word" 'y'all.'3515Immediately begin covert pro-south advertising campaign called "Y'all are people too" or "Let me hear y'all yee-haw!" in hopes of endearing the music listening public to the vernacular and dialect of rural Louisiana
Abs not what they used to be. Popstar resistant to crunches, fickle public resistant to pudgy pop stars.4416Convert popstar to Buddhism, leak story that belly is homage to her spiritual leader.
Popstar may become or may already be pregnant with the baby of her skeezy paparazzi boyfriend.3515Chastity belt.
Popstar apt to flash her girly bits without warning.3412Chastity belt mitigation suggested for above risk should address this as well. 2 birds, 1 very strong piece of metal.
Cheetos addiction leads to unsightly orange stains on clothing.4520Signature color!

4 comments:

lfar said...

Fave line: Popstar resistant to crunches, fickle public resistant to pudgy pop stars.

amy said...

I bet this would be funnier if I knew what the numbers meant.

msklar said...

Finally, the opportunity to make my comment debut on Brianna's blog! And this blog post concerns my very favorite topic of discussion: Britney.

That being said, I have nothing to add and my comments aren't going to make sense. But that's not going to stop me.

I look forward to seeing Buddha Britney becoming a spiritual leader for today's young generation. And now some words of wisdom from the Buddha:

can't you see i'm a fool
in so many ways
but to lose all my senses
that is just so typically me
...
oh baby

AlexK said...

I hope you plan to use this in your risk analysis presentation at the project management training!

We were trying to adapt Apples to Apples for use as a group activity during our presentation, but someone put the kaibash on it...