Monday, May 09, 2011

Signs That Your Episode of 16 and Pregnant is Not Going Well

( A list of for real things that have actually happened on this actual show)

  • You’re 16. And pregnant.
  • One of the cute-sie comic strips that bracket each commercial break portrays you preggers and smoking.
  • While you’re in labor your baby daddy asks you to scoot over because you are taking up the whole hospital bed.
  • When your doctor asks if you have any questions about the birth or taking care of the baby your only thought is about how to get rid of stretch marks.
  • While you’re in labor your baby daddy gets in a fight with your mom and storms out.
  • Someone gets arrested
  • Your parents are REALLY HAPPY about the way things are going -- having a child who is having a baby at 16 is basically like winning the lottery to them. This is creepy.*
  • Your baby daddy arrives to the birth drunk/hungover
  • During the airing of your episode MTV includes 2 PSAs (the standard “Don’t have babies at 16 you idiot!!!” PSA and a bonus “If your boyfriend punches you in the face you should for sure break up.” PSA)
  • You’re 16 and pregnant. With twins.

* On that note why have I seen only *ONE* episode where the parents of this knocked up 16 year old are totally bummed out about the whole ordeal? I suppose some parents are applying “fake it til you make it” to grandparenthood and that if a baby is coming clearly you should/will love it but.... still.... If my teenager was birthing out some young-ins I think I’d be a just a tiny bit suicidal/homicidal until at least the day when my cute grandchild shows up.

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