Friday, November 07, 2008

Game Rage

My Name is Brianna and it has been 7 days since I last shot a stream of expletives at my television screen and even less time since I last sat on the couch in full pout over the spilled milk of an unmastered video game level.

I like to think of myself as relatively level headed. I rarely yell at G even though he is constantly spitting loogies in the sink and/or not buying me presents. Even more impressively I have managed to not kill a single person despite 30 years of being surrounded by idiots. And yet video games which should be only inconsequential dalliances all too often leave me foaming at the mouth.

Last weekend G and I spent most of our time obsessively playing Little Big Planet the remaining few weekend hours were spent on whining. I'm embarrassed to admit that we got stuck on one of the earlier levels (the last one in the Day of the Dead theme). The first thing you need to understand is that this level was really hard. It has this stupid part where you have to jump from platform to platform over a sea of deadly noxious gas followed by more platforms hanging by bungee cords from the ceiling that you have to make bounce in perfect rhythm in order to catapult your sack person across more poisonous fog. Expecting any video game player to rely on rhythm is overtly cruel -- there is a reason I am sitting on the couch with a controller in my hand not out shaking it at the club. The second thing you need to understand is that I might wrap a bit too much of my ego up in video game performance.

I created this flow chart to explain the common progression from "This is SO FUN!" to "I accidentally threw the PlayStation down the stairs."



2 comments:

TokenFemaleGamer said...

OMG, I'm so happy to hear this! I was soooo worried that you were going to love Little Big Planet and then leave me complaining all by my self. =(

After every level i finished all I felt was relieved that it was over.

Urgh. Stupid third dimension messing up my side scroller again.

HalfAsstic.com said...

Yes. Your flow chart seems fairly accurate. My pop just recently got a Wii from my brother and I for his birthday and he and Mither love it. I have wanted one for a while and am a bit worried that when and if I ever get to go and visit them... well, how awful will it be if my 70+ year old parents can kick my ass at a video game?
I recently sent Pop a p-touch label I made him that says "Pop's wee wii". He loved it and applied it to the game immediately.