Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Life has Jumped the Shark

It all started 2 months ago when suddenly I was over Twitter. Unlike the millions who were born being over Twitter I was actually very into it for roughly 3 months until I realized that most of my updates were from people I couldn't care less about and (even worse) no one was playing proper respect to my brilliant tweets. Twitter was essentially Facebook status updates with a more accurate representation of how much the world cares about the amazing bran muffin I had this morning and the subsequent regularity that ensued (thankfully over on Facebook I have tons of friends willing to pretend that such updates are endlessly engaging).

I am also over Macs. Not that I was ever that into them but I got a mac laptop for my new job and kind of hoped to have the sort of computer inspired orgasm that Apple converts will not shut up about. The laptop is fine I guess -- I mean it certainly looks nice and I like to imagine lots of hipster kids in airports looking at me and thinking "oh man, she must be so cool, I bet she is like the blond Amélie only way less annoying" (actually hipsters totally don't think Amélie is annoying, they love pixie-ish girls who are maddeningly out of touch with reality -- you know, assuming they are also crazy hot.). I generally like the gesture ability that allows me to see all of the things I have open with the swipe of 4 fingers across the mouse and the camera does some cool things. But really none of these seem worth the crazy Mac price tag (though maybe they would have been if I were single and looking to pick up an arty dude in a coffee shop). I am hoping that burying these desparaging comments in paragraph 2 will keep the legions of Mac fanboys from tracking me down and stoning me with apples (Since I assume that like all of my readers fanboys never get past the third sentence and a cursory scan for pictures of my ass).

Most shocking of all is that I think I might be over the JCrew online sale . I KNOW. I'm down to looking at it only once a week and that little visit is mostly me yawning spittle onto my computer screen. I guess a girl can only own so many tissue tshirts, whimsical flip flops and brightly colored chinos before the coma sets in. I recently limited myself to only purchasing interesting items from JCrew and it just so happens that this adjetive only applies to like 5 of the items in their catalouge.

And of course, as you've surely noticed, I'm over blogging. Some might claim that I've been over blogging for almost a year but they would be wrong. While it has been about that long since I could consistently write entries that didn't suck it has only been about a month since I stopped caring. Or rather since I mostly gave up on caring. Cause I would still love to write some rocking blog posts, become famous and (somehow) profit but I find myself completely unable to execute step one (you know, the step where I start typing and the computer screen doesn't transform before my eyes into a pile of poop). Most recently I got over other people's blogs. Oh, surely there are still tons of brilliant essays being penned about obscure Settler's of Catan strategies, 101 signs that Chet from the Real World Brooklyn loves dudes and new and improved ways to eat ice cream but I just can't be bothered to read any of them. This is probably partially due to jealousy -- who are these people with their brilliant ideas and ability to write about them?

I'm sure I'll get out of this funk when it comes to blogging -- I fully intend to force myself to write and post and subject all of you to the drivle that ensues. As for Twitter, Macs and JCrew? Those dudes can suck it.


Sky said...

this may be the most tragic news I have heard all week: you are over blogging, wtf????

Kelly said...

I've missed your blogging. I need a laugh now and then, really! work can be so borring

That one girl said...

Okay, I'm with you on Twitter and JCrew, but MACS?! What?! I'm one of those crazed people that doesn't understand other peoples lack of obsession over Macintosh. I'm mean, totally over my head. Like, I think you guys might be dehydrated and not thinking straight. Have you tried a big glass of water? :)

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Kate said...

OMG, you're over the JCrew sale? Doesn't this end a multi-year streak. I think I need to check your temp.

I recently attempted to get "into" the Jcrew online sale, but couldn't begin to get as excited about the sale priced ochre pants as I did about the almost new $3 Ann Klein pants I found at Good Will that fit perfectly . . . :).

dtb said...

You know this makes me just want to follow you on Twitter now.