Tuesday, October 02, 2007

For All Your Halloween Shopping Needs

As we all know Halloween is the holiday when we as a nation honor the slut in all her many forms. This year costume retailers are happy to once again offer a wide variety of vaguely inappropriate skin baring ensembles so that the whore in each of us can come out and show the world her ass. But only this web site (that I know of) is offering a review of the best costume options for your inner tramp.

Sexy Nun

Nothing says pagan holiday like a little pissing off the Catholics. And nothing says "vow breaking former bride of Christ" like a swath of exposed upper arm.





Touch Me Teddy

Everyone loves a costume that congers images of furry orgies. When you dress up as “Touch Me Teddy” you exude an air of mystery that will have all of your friends wondering if they should revoke that invite to Thanks Giving. It’ll all be worth it though when you’re the life of the party, after all not only does this costume have this season hot above the elbow armline but everyone knows that all men secretly fantasize about teddy bears.



Raspberry/Blueberry Girl

Proving that even the incredibly uncreative can still dress up like a skank for Halloween! Who needs an actual costume when you have thigh highs?





Techie Becky

“You will love her software and the way she de-fragments your hard drive!”

I like to think that this is how everyone from high school remembers me.





Sadly, even with all of these awesome options on the market, yours truly still hasn’t settled on a costume idea – I may never top last year’s light up jellyfish.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

B, I think you might be missing the obvious choice of costumes, found just steps away from Quincy Market in Boston.

Here is your most obvious choice for 2007, in keeping with the aquatic theme. You need wear nothing else if you want to keep it sexy:

Front View

Back View

Close-up

K

themikestand said...

This is but one reason why we Canadians have Thanksgiving before Hallowe'en: no revoked invites due to poorly chosen costumes.

Also, I think I nearly bought Touch Me Teddy before I realised it was very, very different from Tickle Me Elmo. And more expensive, I hear.

Anonymous said...

Go green this year it's all the rage in California;)

http://greenliving.suite101.com/article.cfm/green_costume_ideas_for_halloween

Kelly

Anonymous said...

I actually saw the "sexy lady bug" the other day - totally screams brianna, hahahaha!

eileen

Michael Reid said...

"everyone knows that all men secretly fantasize about teddy bears."

Too true.